2025 Year In Review
2025 felt like a LONG year. Here in New Zealand we kept mostly to ourselves as is our want. We’re like our birds, we do our level best to not be noticed. If we are getting noticed it’s because we’re severely ill and stumbling around on State Highway 1. So I hope you forgive me if this list becomes rather america-centric, they’re the best reality TV in town, and their turnover of president at the beginning of the year set off the same hyperfixation it did last time Trump got in. This year saw some real shakeups across Europe as they did their best to stifle a wave of new right wing leaders. We gathered a real rogues gallery across the year.
The economy is still looking pretty unhealthy in the wake of a whole bunch of global and local factors. The cost of living rose 2.5% last year and National struggles on with slipping approval ratings as they aren’t seen to do too much about it. Co-leadership is traded over from Winston Peters to David Seymour in May. Record numbers of kiwis are leaving the country looking for better prospects. The numbers are up 8% on 2024 with 73,000 people leaving the country in the 12 months leading to September.
The Americans continue to be bogged down in overseas conflicts, despite Trump’s best wishes to cut ties with it all. Ukraine briefly had its intel switch off and a meeting between Zelenski and Trump ended terribly during a press meeting where Zelenski and JD Vance got into a spat. While Trump was unable to cajole Russia over the line to put a halt to things he at least managed to get Israel to calm down somewhat from hammering Palestine late in the year.
Jan 1st
Tesla Cybertruck explodes in front of
Trump Tower
The year started with a bang when a Tesla Cybertruck exploded outside Trump tower with it’s sole occupant freshly deceased inside via a self-inflicted gunshot. A few bystanders were injured but otherwise ok. It actually turned into a decent ad for the Tesla, whose frame was credited for being strong enough to contain the blast from injuring more people. The symbolism of the attack was too good to pass up though. The relationship between Elon Musk and Trump has always been a fiery one. Americans seem to be so wound up that the year will continue in much the way it started unfortunately.
Jan 6th
Justin Trudeau stands down as Prime Minister
Pretty boy Justin Trudeau saw the writing on the wall for his political career this year and took the necessary steps to save his party by stepping down. In the election that followed Pierre Poilievre of the Conservative Party folded like a stack of cards becoming the first Conservative leader to lose their seat since Kim Campbell in 1993. The election went to Trudeau’s successor, banker Mark Carney because Canadians are suckers for punishment if it comes with a fresh lick of paint. He surfed in by talking tough to Trump’s threats to make Canada a new state of America. Trudeau landed on his feet by going off and dating Katy Perry.
Jan 15th
South Korean President Arrested
In our 2024 year in review we covered the attempted coupe in South Korea. It created extraordinary imagery of parliamentary staffers blocking the army from entering the national assembly and thwarting politicians from putting an end to Yoon Suk Yeol’s power grab. We left off with Yoon locked up in his house protected by his private security detail. The house was then surrounded by hundreds of police officers calling for his prompt surrender. In the end it took 3000 mobilised cops to break through into the compound, presumably just with sheer mass alone and take him into custody. His legal case would drag on for the rest of the year. In the process he would lose presidential immunity and be exposed to criminal prosecution. He faces a death penalty or life imprisonment. Although the chances of him getting the former are pretty low. There’s been a moratorium on the death penalty since 1997.
Jan 21st
Biden Pardons everybody moments before leaving office
As Biden sat at the inauguration his final acts as presidents were remotely activated as it was announced he was pardoning a large swathe of people he’d assured us he wouldn’t be pardoning, including but not limited to his son Hunter Biden, scores of unnammed people, and Anthony Fauci for crimes he may or may not have committed between the dates of January 1, 2014 and 2025. Trump had made it public he was on the warpath so defenders of the Biden action saw this as a necessary step to protect administration officials from undue legal scrutiny. It’s part of the perks of the job that presidents get to pardon people of crimes, but nobody had ever been pardoned for non-specific reasons across broad stretches of time before. Some of the pardons included large swathes of unnammed people. At this point Biden is just casting spells of warding and hoping they stick.
Feb 1st
Beyonce Wins Album of the Year
I’m more of a Wet Leg or Beths guy myself but if we’re going to recognise the best album of the year we’re going to defer to the experts over at the Grammys on this one until M2 decides to be the arbitrary judge of these things with it’s own awards. 2025’s Album Of The Year was taken out by Beyonce for “Cowboy Carter”. This was the sixth time she’d been nominated, so she’d been waiting for a win for a while, although she’s no stranger to the stage, gracing it time and again in other categories.
Feb 9th
Trump Signs Stuff
With the Trump era well and truly back in full swing the big guy swung into action with the fervour of a man who’s been stewing about everything he’s gonna do when he becomes president again. He was signing executive orders almost non-stop and had press following him everywhere through the whitehouse to witness it. It spanned multiple days and weeks but we’re picking February 9th because it was the first day America started calling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America. On a personal note, he really hacks away at the paper when he signs things. Isn’t gentle at all.
Mar 10th
Romania Candidate Banned From Running
This year saw a lot more curation occurring in the democracy space as various alt figures were arrested or banned from running in elections. In a follow-up to our 2024 Year In Review note on the same figure Romanian politician Calin Georgescu was permanently struck from being able to run in elections after leading the polls yet again after he was barred the first time due to the courts flagging him for failing to adhere to ballot regulations. Long story short the state believes he was more a Russian asset than anything else. This led to widespread protests from supporters. Georgescu would continue to accrue new charges throughout the year including one for planning a coupe, which could see him go away for 20 years.
Mar 11th
EV Hunting Season
Both sides of the political divide were able to come together in a rare moment of bipartisanship to agree that EV’s suck. Particularly Tesla as protestors were activated to march in favour of USAID as it was being gutted by Elon Musk.
One 52 year old in Auckland who spent too much time online and thought he was American crept around Mount Eden vandalising Teslas and a Polestar (which is Swedish, come on man). In total 6 cars were damaged and the Police had the man in custody.
Mar 19th
Turkey candidate Ekrem İmamoğlu Arrested
On the day of the 2025 Republican People’s Party presidential primary it was looking like Ekrem İmamoğlu was going to swan in with zero opposition. There had been a minor hiccups when one of the requirements for running was stripped from him, the university he attended stripped him of his degree. That didn’t slow him down, but the detention by Turkish police on suspicion of corruption, extortion, bribery, money laundering and espionage did. Members of the party and the public alike voted in solidarity bringing him 15,497,957 votes. Seeing numbers like that remind me of how small New Zealand is with just 5 million people.
April 1st
Marine Le Pen Banned From Running for Office
French politician Marine Le Pen, leader of the National Rally since 2022 was found guilty of embezzlement leading to an immediate 5 year ban on running for office. A ruling could arrive this year, which could neutralise the ban from running in 2027. National Rally has grown to become the largest opposition party in parliament. If Le Pen doesn’t get her business squared away her prodigy the 30-year-old RN party president Jordan Bardella will stand in her place.
April 14th
Blue Origin Space Flight
I’m treating us to a little online toxicity with this one. The all female space flight of Blue Origin NS-31 lasted just ten minutes and 21 seconds but it was enough time for it’s most famous passenger, Trudeau girlfriend Katy Perry to come back a villain in the eyes of people who saw the flight as a frivolous expensive joyride at a time when everyone else is hurting just to buy groceries and petrol for the car. Perry said “it’s an important moment for the future of commercial space travel, for humanity in general, and for women.”
Nobody else seemed to agree. Personally I think singing “What a Wonderful World” and holding up a daisy while floating in zero G’s was just too performative for most people. But what do you expect, she’s a performer. It’s what she does.
April 29th
Anora Wins Best Picture
Alongside the likes of Dune Part 2, Wicked, Conclave and The Substance, Anora swept the Academy Awards with 5 oscars under it’s belt. It became only the fourth film to ever win the highest achievement at Cannes and the Oscars. The film centers on a young and dumb prostitute played by Mikey Madison who impulsively marries the son of a Russian Oligarch to give him an anchor to not leave the country. Only after they get married does Madison’s character start questioning where the crazy amounts of money comes from, and who his parents might actually be. Shenanigans ensue.
June 21st
Bunker Busting
The USA bombs Iranian nuclear sites with Bunker Busters, This lead to a ceasefire between Iran and Israel, which was broken a few hours later by Israel. This lead Trump to drop the F bomb. “We basically have two countries that have been fighting so long and so hard that they don’t know what the f— they’re doing,” he said.
FBI Open field office in New Zealand
If you’ve ever been watching your pirated copy of Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and had to sit through a black screen letting you know the FBI could be after you for it and thought to yourself “Ha, they’ll never get me in Tokoroa” then think again. FBI director Kash Patele was lurking around Wellington giving the Police and Spy Chiefs commemorative Maverick PG22 3D printed pistols they had to dispose of. But the order of the day was opening an independent FBI branch here in NZ. Patel talked a big game about countering the CCP but local politicians sweating under the collar downplayed this aspect focusing more on co-operation on narcotics, espionage and child exploitation.
July 31st
Tariffs, Tariffs Everywhere
Moving at breakneck speed Trump continued to turn things upside down when he imposed tariffs all over the place. New Zealand received a tariff earlier in the year of 10% which was then bumped to a cheeky 15%. Australia’s rate remained at 10% while Switzerland got pinged with 39%.
About 70% of our exports have been affected by the tariffs but a report by Westpac and the International Business Forum has found that overall we’ve been able to cope with it. “Strong demand – and high commodity prices – are shielding most primary goods exporters from the negative impact of reciprocal tariffs where applicable.”
When the tariffs were announced there was a lot of dialogue that it would bring about the end of the world. The report finds these claims to also be overblown. “We’re progressively seeing consensus forecasts of global growth being revised higher over the second half of the year, back in April the fear was that the tariffs might be the trigger for a broader trade war… if that had happened the growth impacts would undoubtedly been much larger than we have seen to date, tariffs have definitely dropped down the list of global worries.”
Sep 8th
The Tom Philips Saga Concludes
The Story of Tom Philips came to a grisly conclusion after he was intercepted by an officer who got hit in the shoulder and head after Philips shot him close range with his rifle. Two other officers then came in and finished Philips off. His child that was with him at the time was unharmed. The other kids that he had kept hidden for the better part of four years deep in Waikato bush were also recovered unharmed. The mysteries of this case continue to stink up the place. But it’s best not to gossip and let due process and a lifetime of therapy with the kids figure it out.
Sep 10th
Charlie Kirk Shot
Charlie Kirk, a guy who’d made a career of publicly debating his values on university campuses in the United States was suddenly assassinated at one of his events. While his content matter was considered controversial, he offered an equal platform to opponents to air their views. Removing this venue means that Charlie Kirk imitators are more likely to stick to content that doesn’t put them directly in front of thousands of people, recording videos unchallenged for youtube. In other words, online political denizens are going to be forced to know who the heck Nick Fuentes is.
Oct 7th
Winston Peters Window Smashed
After a speech at the UN where Winston Peters failed to recognise the smoking rubble of Palestine as a state, protesters took to his street to let him know their opinion on all that. A 29 year old delivered Winston a rock via one of the closed windows. “Our poor dog’s bed was under the window and the glass was all over him,” Winston said.
“I had a guest there as well.”
Anyone wanting to book Winston’s guest dog bed needs to phone ahead to ensure it’s vacant.
Oct 13th
Remaining Israeli hostages handed over
Unable to secure a speedy win in Ukraine Trump turned his attention to the genocide taking place in Palestine. He was able to broker a tenuous peace agreement between Israel and Hamas, which resulted in the return of Israeli hostages, bar 28 captives who were killed and buried under rubble during the Gaza bombardment. This is despite not having Winston’s signoff. By the end of October Israel claims some of it’s soldiers were killed while they have killed nearly 100 and wounded 230 more since the truce began.
Oct 16th
Jim Bolger Passes
Jim Bolger who served as Prime Minister from 1990 to 1997 with National passed away this year aged 90. In his time in office he oversaw referendums on electoral reform which led to MMP, which he then went on to win in coalition with New Zealand First. Under his leadership Te Papa got funded while they were trying to cut back in other areas, and was instrumental in accelerating the Treaty settlement process. During his time Te Māngai Pāho (the Māori broadcasting funding agency) was also set up.
Nov 9th
Bikegate
One of my favourite puff pieces in 2025 was the story of Luxon giving an unused kids bike away to a bodyguard sending bureaucracy into a tailspin of paperwork to note it down. As reported by the NZ Herald Luxon “would not take no for an answer” as he gave it to one of the people in the Dignitary Protection Service. Apparently it would help him clear some room in his garage, which I find incredibly relatable. Luxon offered it to the officer a few days before Christmas in 2024. The officer “kindly refused” but Luxon insisted. “By me accepting this bicycle [it] would help him clear some space. I accepted the bicycle with my supervisor and senior sergeant present.”
“The PM wanted to clear out some space in his garage, the bike was surplus to requirement,” the sergeant wrote.
“In fact, his daughter, when younger, never really used it and … the PM would not take no for an answer when he wheeled the bike over to him.”
The bike was valued at about $150 and made it into the cop gift register, one of 148 gifts received that year. The real story was the cops receiving two bottles of Yanghe Meng Zhi Lan Dream Blue M9 worth $500 each from the Chinese embassy. These were later “destroyed”. Personally I love “destroying” some top shelf Johnny Walker myself.
Nov 18th
Bidding Wars
Portrait of Elisabeth Lederer by Gustav Klimt became the second most expensive artwork ever sold at auction, trailing Leonardo Da Vinci’s Salvator Mundi which went for $450.3 million. I should have led with the price of the Klimt piece because it pales in comparison, but $236.4 million is nothing to sneeze at. Rumour has it that the piece was picked up by Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the United Arab Emirates’s president, and that it may be a feature at the recently opened Zayed National Museum in Abu Dhabi.
Dec 10th
Bondi Shooting
Closer to home the year got capped off horrifically by a shooting against Jews gathering for Hannukah by two gunman radicalised by Islamic State ideology. 15 died making the attack the worst in the country since the Port Arthur Massacre. The headlines were flooded though by the acts of heroism on display as a bystanderc Ahmed al-Ahmed wrestled a gun off one of the attackers, but was subsequently shot and survived. Gefen Bitton attempted to help Ahmed and was shot but survived. Reuven Morrison also engaged the gunmen, throwing a brick to slow them down, and was killed. Local surf lifesavers were also on the scene to shelter people and provide aid.
One gunman died at the scene while the other is now clogging up the prison system.
Dec 10th
Australia Social Media Ban
Australia decided that enough was enough and that the kids need to stop doom scrolling and go for a walk or something instead. Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, Threads, Twitch, Kick, and YouTube were age‑restricted for under 16s. Meta lost about a million accounts, and was understandably peeved at losing an active customer-base. Social media has long been linked with a teen mental health crisis. One does not even require a study, I actively feel like I’m being v when I scroll through Shorts.