16 things M2 Survived In 16 Years
It’s M2’s sweet 16 this issue. So we’re going to take this opportunity to gloat about the 16 world events we’ve managed to survive thus far.
1. 2005
It was a simpler time back when M2 launched. George Bush just got in for a second term, North Korea let the world know they’re working on nukes and Pope Benedict XVI succeeded the iron throne.
2. Myspace
It seems like an age since Facebook ruined the mental health of the planet. But at its peak in 2006, Myspace was visited more than Google and seemed unstoppable. Turns out it was stoppable after all.
3. The GFC
Back in 2008, some dropkicks on Wall Street failed to do their jobs and as a consequence, the world went into a tailspin. Don’t worry, one of them was arrested and the rest got bailed out.
4. 2012
Some Mayans or somebody couldn’t be bothered chiseling a calendar that projected further into the future than 2012, so obviously it meant the end of all things. I’m putting as much research into this one as it deserves.
5. iPad Tech Bubble
M2 was one of the first Kiwi publications to make a native digital version of the magazine for iPads around 2013. Turns out targeting a market segment within a market segment isn’t particularly lucrative. We all thought iPads were going to be the next big thing, but it turns out they were just another thing.
6. Kim Dotcom
Nothing is normal when it comes to Kim. Starting with a bungled raid where NZ authorities were unable to find where Dotcom put all his stolen internet and ended in an overhyped Internet Mana Party that sucked all the attention out of the 2014 general election.
7. Kim Kardashian
2014 was also marked by Kim’s big, glossy butt “breaking the internet”. Frankly, next time I hear about something breaking the internet, it better be in a newspaper and not on the internet in question.
8. Clickbait
As publications started to chase an audience retreating into social media, the tactics to lure them back got scummier. Clickbait hit max saturation by the end of 2014 and algorithms were tweaked to send them to their grave much to everybody’s relief.
9. Trump
As clickbait died, Trump came to the rescue, creating hyperventilating headlines for the media industry for four years straight. The nightmare came to a sudden climactic end with the storming of Capitol Hill by supporters hoping to halt the Biden win.
10. Laser Kiwi
Hoping to secure some sort of legacy, Teflon John Key got the ball rolling on a flag referendum. Turns out crowdsourcing design ideas is a terrible idea, but at least we got to waste our time giggling at weaponised native birds.
11. Brexit
Watching the UK extract itself from the EU has been a painful education in how incompetent Number 10 has really gotten. Fortunately, being on the other side of the planet really takes the edge off.
12. The Wine Pilfering
M2’s Boardroom started with a fully stocked row of wine racks. Over the years, it hasn’t been able to keep up with a certain someone. We’re not going to publish any names for fear of repercussions, but you know who you are. This is an intervention.
13. Auckland Casino Fire
The unmistakable smell of burning tar will always give us dreamy recollections of the day someone left a blowtorch going on the NZ International Convention Centre. Fortunately, we were upwind just enough to not be huffing it all week.
14. Helen & John
We’ve seen multiple parties come and go, each punting the big issues of the day off to the next party in line. Some of the hottest potatoes have landed in Jacinda’s lap, and while she may have designated print non-essential, we’ll be around to say something snarky about it long after she’s moved on.
15. Competition
We’ve had plenty of rivals come and go over the years. Some of their best and brightest team members are with us now, so thanks for the on-the-job training.
16. Covid-19
The jury is still out on this one, but so far M2 hasn’t been part of any PR nightmare local outbreaks. Fortunately, M2’s Managing Director is such a germaphobe, he’s been seen telling the editor to get lost after coughing a little on his way up the stairs in the morning.
