Tech for the End Times

Wehead

When you’re in your bunker it’s nice to know that your loved ones will be able to remotely animate a head cobbled together out of four android phones. This is the Wehead, an abomination that gives remote workers “presence” at meetings. Be the most conspicuous person in the room without even being in the room. The whole thing turns with the user’s head movements but the end result is just an ungodly mashup of face closeups and janky movement. It’s the stuff of nightmares and it can be yours for just $4,555.
wehead.com

Nowatch

In the future. There will be no time, only the present. Known as the “world’s first Awearable” this is… Just a wearable biometric data tracker that tries to appeal to hippies by slapping some gems on the front. It can take multiple different faceplates with different materials and gemstones and has no screen to speak of. It measures everything from breathing rate to “skin conductance”, which I guess is the polite way to say “sweatiness”. At the very least it’s a very classy fitbit.
nowatch.com

Dyson Zone

Dyson saw a problem and it found a solution. The problem is that our air in most population centres is no longer fit for raw consumption. According to the WHO 99% of the earth’s population is sucking on air that exceeds healthy limits. Fortunately instead of fixing the problem we can just buy the Dyson Zone instead. It’s a set of headphones that doubles as a personal air purifier. It doesn’t fit so closely as to be as effective as an N95 for blocking germs, but it’ll at least filter out all those exhaust fumes you’re marinating in.
dyson.com