ID Scans? No Skin Off Your Back

So Keir Starmer has just resigned as British PM? Well, no he hasn’t – but he is proposing a universal digital ID which sounds very, very similar to the ‘Poll Tax’ which Margaret Thatcher tried busting out back in the 80s. And though she was tough as old boots, the Iron Lady was melted down into slag in the furnace of fiery nationwide protests that followed her proposal back then. So, if even a political heavyweight like Mrs. Thatcher couldn’t get her Big Brother proletariat bullying scheme off the ground, then a bantamweight like Mr. Starmer hasn’t got a snowball’s chance. Maybe someone should tell Keir that George Orwell was English too and saw him coming eighty years ago with his epic Nineteen Eighty-Four warning.

Finding A Foolproof Identifier

But, if we put reality aside for a moment, and presume that Starmer’s folly gets beyond the Molotov Cocktails, car torchings, nationwide rioting and mass destruction that did for his (hitherto) invincible predecessor and into law. How will he enforce it?

Already he is boasting that the British people won’t have to carry any special ID card. Whew, that’s a relief! But frankly, an ID card is irrelevant these days, the government/tech bros have already got enough info on us in their databases to arbitrarily decide whether we’re allowed to buy alcohol, junk food or have the right to reproduce. All they need is some form of ‘login’ that can’t easily be faked with a 3D printer.

Exhibits A, B & C

Too easy! There are three foolproof methods of identification already – fingerprints; iris recognition and retinal scanning. All Keir has to do is choose one of these to base his ID approval system on and it’s job done. Off to the pub!

Or so you might think but, incredible as it may seem, all three of these identification systems have been faked – and not just in Tom Cruise movies either. Of course, as anyone who watches any sort of political thriller knows, fingerprints can be lifted off a glass and repurposed. The other movie trope of wearing contact lenses to fake somebody’s eyes to beat an iris recognition scanner isn’t just a plot point – it can, and actually has, been used successfully.

But, surely a retina scan is unfakeable! There’s no way you can 3D print off someone’s eyeball and copy the blood vessels from the back of their eye!

Well… you can , and it has actually been done, although only in a lab setting. So far! Currently there is no public evidence that artificially printed eyeballs have been successfully used to defeat a live retina scan security system. But, as history has taught us, once the tech is out there – so are the scammers…

Blaschko’s Lines

Woah! So Keir Starmer may need an entirely new ID system in order to operate his new Big Brother system?

Probably not. We all know this is just window dressing really. If you are not already a member of Keir and co’s London Clubs, the game is up! You’re obviously part of the hoi polloi and deserve nothing beyond what your betters decide to allot. Still, if he did wish to create a foolproof biometric identification system he could consider Blaschko’s Lines.

Hidden just beneath the surface of your skin, Blaschko’s lines are a secret wood grain-like pattern you’ve carried since birth: your body’s hidden blueprint. Invisible pathways tracing the intricate migration of embryonic skin cells, they form sweeping V-shapes across the back, delicate whorls on the stomach, and vertical stripes down the limbs.

Why Aren’t We Using Them Already?

Though they’re as unique as fingerprints, iris or retinal blood vessel patterns no one can see Blaschko’s lines – yet. Not even with a machine. The only reason we know they exist at all is due to them appearing on the skin’s surface as symptoms of certain ailments like the delightful-sounding ‘linear lichen planus’. So, unlike the other ID options which are all clearly visual, Blaschko’s lines can’t even normally be seen with an X-ray.

For a future Blaschko’s line scanner to work it wouldn’t just be taking a picture it would be deducing the patterns from inference. The same way a remote-sensing satellite deduces soil composition from the colour and health of crops, a Blaschko’s scanner would have to use advanced hyperspectral imaging to detect the subtle molecular ‘symptoms’ of the underlying genetic mosaic. Analysing minute variations in skin oils, trace proteins, and the way light scatters at a sub-microscopic level to make out the unique Blaschko’s line patterns.

The Proof Is In The Scanning

Before even that can happen, Blaschko’s lines have to be ‘proven’ worthy of being a unique identifier and to achieve that, a host of readings need to be taken of subjects all over the world as data for the proof. A daunting task but, luckily, as we hurtle further on our way towards totalitarianism, the massive ‘seeking permission’ part of building said database is becoming less relevant by the day.

Will Keir Starmer look at developing Blaschko’s lines for his digital ID scanning system? Not likely given the massive set-up requirements necessary to implement such a programme. But, should the forgers make serious headway with fingerprint, iris and retinal scanning fraud in the years to come, then for goodness’ sake don’t rule it out!