All The Films To Start 2022 Off With
Here is the collated list of the top films we think will be worth going to the cinema to see.
The King’s Man
In Cinemas Jan 6
Of all the movies delayed over and over again by the pandemic, this is one I’ve been the most looking forward to. Wait no, Dune. Can I change my answer?
While Dune was all about epic sweeping vistas, The King’s Man opts for a more fun approach, covering the events surrounding WWI, where all the nations villains get together to plot a war to earn themselves a lot of cash. We have the greasy Rasputin, plots against Franz Ferdinand, and the only thing that can stop all the madness, an English gentleman, naturally.
The King’s Man plots the rise and origin of the Kingsman group before it’s in the state we know it to be in these days, a giant smoking hole in the ground. Sorry spoilers. Ralph Fiennes and Harris Dickinson play the two leads while Djimon Hounsou and Gemma Arterton fill out the roster for the first King’s Men and Women.
This entry is directed by Matthew Vaughn, the steady hand behind all the previous Kingsman entries as well as Kick Ass and the only good X-Men movie, X-Men: First Class. With Vaughn on board we know that we’re in for a gloriously irreverent thrill ride, stunting all over the idea of what spy films can be.
This film has had an epic amount of delays, eight and counting, pushing it two years out from its original release date. We might be all bones in the ground before they find a good time to release it. Let’s hope it sticks to the January 6th release.
Ozark: Season 4
On Netflix 21 Jan
Even looking at the shots for this series gives me anxiety, and I love it.
Released in two 7 episode parts, season four continues to fall down the deadly rabbit hole Marty Byrde (Jason Bateman) set for the family all those years ago. From a simple money laundering scheme to dancing with the drug cartels, things are going from terrible to terriblest.
Death On the Nile
In Cinemas 10 Feb
Classic Agatha Christie whodunit sequel to 2017’s stylish Murder on the Orient Express.
This time our eccentric detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) has a captured audience on a cruise ship where he must solve a death… That occurred on the Nile. Looks like it’s no Knives Out but you know what you’re getting into with a murder mystery whodunit. Kenneth Branagh not only returns as the star but also as the director.
Ridley’s career is currently bookended by two films The Duellists and The Last Duel.
However, Ridley is on the offensive right now and duelling literally everybody. Here’s how he’s doing.
Ridley Vs Millennials
Let’s be honest, chances are you didn’t hear about The Last Duel coming out. Ridley defended the marketing teams and instead went after millennials saying “what we’ve got today, [are] the audiences who were brought up on these f***ing cellphones. The millennian do not ever want to be taught anything unless you’re told it on a cellphone.”
I dunno man, maybe it’s the ongoing pandemic and zero marketing that had more to do with the tanking. I’m giving this point to the millennian, whatever that is.
Ridley Vs The Critic
During an interview about the Last Duel, the interviewer made the dire mistake of comparing its realism to the Kingdom of Heaven and Robin Hood. Ridley was very articulate in his response.
“Sir, f— you. F— you. Thank you very much. F— you. Go f— yourself, sir. Go on,”
Personally, I love the “go on” at the end. I’m giving this point to Ridley.
Ridley Vs The House of Gucci
Gucci was upset by Ridley’s latest film with one member stating that the film was “stealing the identity of a family to make a profit to increase the income of the Hollywood system.”
Ridley wasn’t having any of it, saying on BBC’s Today, “It was about murder. They forget: He was murdered. One of the brothers went to jail for tax evasion. So don’t talk to me about making a profit. Are you kidding? When you do that you tend to become public domain.”
I’m giving this one to Ridley.
Ridley Vs Super Heroes
“The best films are driven by the characters and we’ll come to superheroes after this if you want because I’ll crush it. I’ll f***ing crush it. They’re f***ing boring as s***.
Matchpoint to Ridley.
