Habits of High Performers

James Laughlin has spent his career in the company of champions and not just in the pipe band world, where he’s a seven-time world champion drummer or his award-winning podcast. As a high-performance coach, he’s worked with elite athletes, CEOs, founders, world-class musicians, and leaders at the very top of their game. These are people who operate in environments where the margins between winning and losing are razor-thin, and James has been trusted to help them navigate those edges.

In his new book, Habits of High Performers, James distils years of coaching and personal experience into a clear blueprint for achieving sustained excellence. Principles that have come from lessons learned in locker rooms, boardrooms, and backstage green rooms around the globe. We talk to James about his own pursuit of performance, why the best say “No” and why hustle culture might be killing high performance.

Congratulations on your new book. What does it feel like when you put so much of you into something, and then it goes out into the world? It’s going to be with people in different contexts, in different situations, and you have no control over parts of that.

There are mixed feelings: joy, excitement, relief, fear, all of that. I’m so excited for people to get their hands on it and apply it to their lives and businesses. But, as you know, when you put anything out into the world, there are going to be people who love it and people who loathe it. To me, that’s part of being a creator. I think it’s healthy too, just to wonder how the reader might enjoy it. But I’ve put years into this.

I’ve had the best editors, they’ve ripped me to shreds. So the refining, the recalibrating, it’s been a big journey. I’m at a stage where I’m so excited to get it out there and see it in the hands of Kiwis and Aussies and beyond.

I didn’t even think about the “loathe” part. Often I think people don’t try things because they’re afraid. Is there a connection between high performance and being less afraid of what other people think?

I think so. When I’m working with clients or teams, it’s nice to care about people, it’s important to care about them, but you don’t need to worry about what they’re thinking about what you’re doing. How they feel about what you’re doing is actually none of your business.

High performers are courageous. They do feel fear, but they do it anyway. They step in, they lean in, they go for the tackle, they launch the thing, they say yes to the speaking gig, they choose the different career option, they say no to uni and yes to something else their parents think is crazy. High performers are willing to take risks and know it could fail.

In reading your book, I’ve been thinking a little bit about reverse engineering. Maybe if we reverse-engineer your career trajectory a little bit, what was the catalyst to sit down and write the book?

It was actually an attendee at one of my high-performance leadership events. They came up after two and a half days and said, “James, that’s a book.” I said, “What’s a book?” They went, “The last two days.” I said, “No, I love events. I want to be with people.” They said, “Yes, but we can only get 80 people in this room. Some people can’t afford the event or can’t get to the event.”

Wouldn’t it be cool if they could go through the process? That was four or five years ago. It planted a seed. I thought, there’s only one of me, and I’d love to reach more people if they want to be reached. How do I do that in an effective way?

I wanted to get the IP out there, get the processes out there. I don’t want to hide any of my stuff. A lot of coaches can be quite protective of their tools and frameworks. For the last three or four years, I’ve been like: just take it, have it, run with it, use it, share it, edit it. I don’t care as long as people get results.

You could charge a lot more for a two-day conference, but you’re giving away your IP in a book. Is that also a mindset thing: focusing on abundance rather than scarcity?

A lot. I journal countless times a day. My journal’s with me everywhere. I write about something called “absolute abundance.” I believe in it. I believe abundance flows to us and through us. I’ve spent years trying to understand what abundance feels like, looks like, how we attract it, how we generate it.

I think giving stuff away, adding value, in the end, it finds its way back to you. Not in a transactional “give and then I should receive” way, but just keep giving. If you genuinely add value, people talk, particularly in a small country like New Zealand where we’re all connected. If you do something good, people spread the word. I’d rather give and think about what’s possible.

What does abundance feel like?

Abundance is limitless. There are limitless ways we can connect, limitless ways we can create. I believe in “possibilitarianism”. My headmaster brought this to me. I was a handful as a kid, that’s the nice way to put it. He gave me two options: a week of detention or a set of drumsticks. He thought, “This is a problem child, but what’s possible if I give him something positive to focus on?” It changed the whole trajectory of my life.

When I’m thinking of abundance, it’s: what are the possibilities? What are the opportunities here? It’s limitless. No problem without a solution.

As you say, you’ve been coaching for years. Is it different when you sit down and put it on paper? Does it change your perspective, or the way you filter things? Has that shifted anything in what you teach and think about?

I love speaking from stage, I’m a communicator, a podcaster. The verbal way of connecting is something I’m passionate about and find very natural. I love it.

Sitting down to write my first draft… my editor came back and said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa – what’s with all the big words? What’s with all the sophistication? When you communicate, you communicate simply, what’s with the change?” And he was right.

So there was almost an entire rewrite, certainly in terms of approach. It was too complex. Writing forced me to distil my thinking down into: what’s the message here? What’s the key takeaway? What’s the call to action? It’s definitely shifted my thinking about leadership and communication.

The book probably should have been twice as big in terms of including everything I wanted, but who wants to read a 600-page book? It would have gone around in circles and not been very pithy. So yeah, it’s forced me to distil my thinking a lot.

In the office we were photocopying pages 248 to 250 for our sales team – the section were you help Bill break into the Millionaires Club by getting clear on the sales process and breaking down actions month by month, day by day. Do you eat your own dog food? A book is a massive project, did you chunk it down in the same way?

One hundred percent. I’m like any other human, I get distracted. My brain thinks of a million things, I can jump from one thing to another, procrastinate. But once I got serious about the book and told my family and friends I was going to do it, I had to get to it.

On 1 January 2024, right here where I’m sitting now, 5am, cup of tea and laptop. Every morning, 5am, two or three solid hours. That took me through to mid-February, and I had the bulk of the book.

I already had an outline, but I needed that discipline, two to three hours every day, first thing in the morning, clear mind, no distractions. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be sitting here, it would just be another idea. It needed structure and reverse engineering day by day. And do the work.

Back to the reverse engineering: we’ve got the catalyst for the book and the process, but what was the catalyst for you to start delving into the secrets of high performance?

I’ve always been fascinated by people who deal with pressure and perform. This might be unexpected, but as a kid in a small town north of Belfast, my granddad, who grew up on the Shankill Road, one of the most notorious roads during the Troubles, was an avid reader of SAS accounts.

I was about seven or eight – way too young to be reading some of that – but I devoured those books. These guys were unbelievable. I wanted to know: how do I get some of that? How do I be powerful and efficient?

I wasn’t very successful in my younger years, but I got into drumming. All I wanted was to be the world’s best, to become world solo champion. I thought if I did that, I could travel, leave Northern Ireland, see the world. But I got nervous performing.

I “borrowed” my cousin’s Anthony Robbins cassette tapes, Unleash the Power Within, all about mindset. From a young age, I was listening to NLP, learning how to wire my brain for success. That helped me win my first world title, then my second.

From there, I reached out to the world’s best drummers, performers, authors, Timothy Gallwey, Inner Game of Golf and Tennis, asking what I could do. I’ve always been curious, maybe nosy, about how the best do it.

When I moved to New Zealand, 12,000 miles from the drumming action, I needed to stay relevant, so I started pen-palling, calling, and eventually podcasting with leaders in sport, business and neuroscience. I just want to know what makes greatness possible.

Growing up in Belfast, was that right in the thick of the Troubles?

Yes. I was born in ’86, right through the early 90s and until the first ceasefire in ’94/’95. Petrol bombs, knee-cappings, bomb scares, innocent people being murdered, cars blowing up. But you normalise it I think, “This is life, doesn’t everyone do this?”

Do you think that influenced your appreciation for life and the best of life?

Definitely. People often say I’m positive, I’m happy and genuinely, I feel grateful. Landing in New Zealand felt like paradise. It’s peaceful, spacious, full of opportunity.

Northern Ireland was humbling. Tall poppy syndrome is as strong there as here in New Zealand, don’t get bigger than your boots or you’ll be brought down. I had a grounded, working-class upbringing. If you want something, you earn it. No shortcuts. Do the work when nobody’s looking. Don’t tell everyone you’re going to the gym at 5am, just do it. When it matters, show people you’re ready to perform.

That global context runs through your book. On Tall Poppy, it seems common in NZ, Australia, Northern Ireland, but not so much in the US. Does that cultural context shape high performance?

Absolutely. Think of someone like Noah Lyles, gold medal Olympian sprinter from the US. Before he races, he’s telling everyone how amazing he is, how bad the opposition is. That works in the US. Do that in New Zealand or Northern Ireland and you’d be cancelled.

Being culturally aware of what’s acceptable on your high-performance journey is so important. I actually think Kiwis sometimes downplay themselves too much. We could back ourselves a bit more. Americans could probably learn some humility from us, and we could learn a bit more self-belief from them.

Do you think though that if we’re so busy telling everyone else that we’re not amazing and we don’t stand out does that message become an internal one too?

Totally. Beliefs dictate everything. The psychological model says: belief influences your attitude, and attitude influences your behaviour.

It all comes back to: what do you believe? About success? Your career? What your peers, colleagues, family think? Those beliefs shape your attitude toward the world, and of course your actions. Spending more time on our belief systems as high performers, leaders, entrepreneurs, parents, that’s time well spent.

What advice would you give parents for giving kids that foundation of belief?

A couple of things. Connection is everything. Where there’s low connection, there’s high tension, in sports teams, in businesses, in parent-child dynamics. High connection equals high trust and low rebellion, especially in the teenage years.

Keep the connection up. Open conversations. Be curious as a parent. I spent four years speaking to high-performing dads because I didn’t want to be a crap dad. I didn’t want my child to get to his teenage years and think, “Who’s that guy?”

The simple things matter: being present, asking questions, not being a know-it-all. Instilling solid beliefs, kids will form their own view of the world, but we can give them values about how to treat themselves and others, to operate from kindness, to believe in themselves, to back themselves.

In the book you talk about decision making and a sliding doors moment where you had an incredible speaking opportunity but it coincided with your son’s first school production. That was a non-negotiable for you.

That’s where having a decision-making filter makes it easy. You look through the lens of your values and priorities, and it removes the heat of the moment.

Recently, Finn’s birthday fell on the same day as the Crusaders Hall of Fame event, one of my favourite cultural experiences. It was an immediate “hell no” to the event. Of course I’ll miss being there, but I’d miss way more by not picking him up from school on his birthday. Decisions become easier, and you sleep easier.

Do we sometimes conflate the pursuit of money with negative motives, especially in tall poppy cultures?

One hundred percent. Money is the biggest taboo topic. If I walked into a room and asked, “How much do you earn?” people would run. There’s shame and ugliness around money.

It’s just a belief system. Many of us grew up hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “money’s scarce,” so we avoid talking about it. That doesn’t serve us well. Money should be a transfer of energy, I give you something of value, you give me money to help me reach my goals or pay the mortgage.

The danger is “affluenza,” buying things to keep up with the Joneses. If you make decisions like that, you’ll never have enough. It’s a downward spiral. Better to know why you’re buying something and whether it’s from a healthy place.

In the book you mention Sir John Key telling his mum he’d be Prime Minister and earn a million dollars. In a lot of households, that would be laughed at or shut down. Is it crucial for parents to think about how we respond to those dreams?

Absolutely. The ability to pause and not react is huge, even your facial expression can shut them down. Back your kids. Tell them they can achieve whatever they put their mind to.

I once worked at a school where a leader said, “We can’t tell kids they can be whatever they want, because they can’t.” I asked if they dreamed of being a teacher at six years old – of course not. Why didn’t they do what they dreamed? “My parents told me teaching was stable.” There you go. If your parents had encouraged you, who knows?

Is there a danger in setting expectations too high and then waking up at 46 and realising you never became the astronaut or movie star?

Of course. My goal as a kid was SAS or Secret Service, didn’t happen. I remember before a world championship final, my dad said, “Don’t get your hopes up, have fun, but don’t expect to win.” He didn’t realise I’d been listening to Tony Robbins for two years. I said, “If I think like that, I’ve lost already.”

There’s a balance, humility is important, but so is confidence.

There’s a page about having multiple split priorities in your book that really hit me. I’ve justified it by saying they connect, but I know deep down they don’t. You contrast that with the power of single focus. It can be hard to give things up though.

It does. As kids, we might play seven sports and do schoolwork and try to be kids, it leads to burnout. Adults are the same. When you dilute your priorities, you dilute your results.

Get clear on “WMI” – what’s most important to you. Each year, choose three to five things you’ll absolutely nail, things you’ll be proud of. Everything else is noise. We like shiny objects and what’s most imminent, the email, the phone call. High performers are confident saying “no,” even to weddings if they’re in training for an event.

But we also hear stories of success from being open to opportunities. Is there a balance?

Yes, that’s where the decision-making filter helps. I used to say yes to everything, it brought some opportunities, but also burnout and diminished quality. Say yes to things that help your mission, no to things that derail it.

What’s your vision?

To help great humans become the greatest. I don’t see people as broken, most of us are great in our own way, but we get in our own way. I want to unlock greatness in athletes, parents, entrepreneurs, teams – at scale.

Have you got more books in you?

Five or six. I’d mapped out a timeline. But a mentor, Robin Sharma, told me: don’t jump to the next one. Spend three or four years getting this book into as many hands as possible. That stopped me in my tracks and changed my plan.

Even the coaches can be coached.

Absolutely. Coaching has no real standardisation, anyone can call themselves a coach. I tell people: shop around, ask what results they’ve got for others, and ask about their coach. If they don’t have one, run. The best coaches in sport and business have coaches. It uncovers blind spots.

A couple of questions back you used the term not seeing people as “broken”, but do think there’s often a really fine line between extreme performance and extreme failure, and for a couple of reasons. First, we need to be comfortable with failure, because it’s often part of the roadmap to success. But there’s another angle. If you look way back — I’m talking the really old days — the people with the highest reward receptors, the ones wired to take risks, would be the ones to go out, find the bison, and discover new territory. Today, those same traits can draw people toward addiction or other destructive paths. Do you think there’s a fine line between the traits that drive extreme success and those that can lead to extreme failure?

Absolutely. A couple of things. I believe high performance should be holistic. I have had several heated debates with clinical psychologists, some of them saying high performance just means winning. Okay, but could it be more? I will tell you something: I have failed way more than I have won. If you look at my record as a performer, as a drummer, I have lost far more world championships than I have won. I have lost more national championships than I have won. So I think failure is essential for progress. It is how we respond to failure that really defines our journey. We have to see it for what it is, experience the disappointment, the shame, the anger, whatever comes up.

When I fail, I do not feel happy. When my editor came back and said, “James, this is quite complex,” I felt deflated. I thought, “What is the point? Can I even write?” That was my instant reaction. Then I took a breath, closed my eyes, meditated, came back an hour later and asked myself, “What is the opportunity here? What can I learn?” Then I got on the phone to the editor: What was good? What can I double down on? What does better look like?

I think it is important in high performance to have perspective and be willing to fail. But when we get radically obsessed, saying “I must win the Olympic gold medal or this is all worthless,” it is game over. You are running at a loss from the outset. You are putting unneeded pressure on yourself and setting yourself up for failure. Being open to winning is great. I was open to winning the world championship and I believed I could, but if I did not win, I would still love drumming. I would carry on drumming, no problem.

So I think we need balance. If I had to define high performance, I would say it is consistently exceeding norms while maintaining healthy relationships and well-being. That, to me, is ultimate high performance. Now, I did not get that right when I was at my so-called best. People might have looked at the seven-time world champion and thought “high performer,” but if they had scratched under the hood and seen my life off the field, I was drinking too much. Every day it was a glass of wine while making dinner, maybe a top-up. On the weekend it might be six to ten drinks, easy. I thought that was normal, it is what adults do. I celebrated with alcohol, I de-stressed with alcohol, it was my nightcap.

Relationship-wise, my number one focus was winning the world championship. Play drums, teach drums, help others win, sell drums, that was my priority. My marriage took a back seat and ended in divorce. That is not high performance, though I did not see it at the time. So yes, consistently exceeding norms puts you above mediocrity, but true high performance means doing it while maintaining healthy relationships and well-being. Not perfect relationships or perfect well-being, but healthy. It is knowing when you have gone too far and need to counterbalance. It is that awareness piece, and it is bloody tough.

What’s the first thing you want someone to do when they finish the book?

Say no to hustle, yes to habits. Get radically clear on what you want, how badly you want it, and what you’re willing to sacrifice. Use the principles in the book to support the journey, adapt them to work for you.