Starters Guide to Propaganda

Step 1 – Just Lie

This is the cornerstone of any good modern leadership style. People love hearing things that make them feel good, so why deprive them of that feeling? Are you immoral? No? Good, right answer! Now lie to them. They don’t need to hear about the messy shades of grey you work in, it’ll just make them feel bad knowing their tax dollars are going into an invasion. Best just call it a “liberation” or “special military operation” instead.

Step 2 – Replace All Dissenting News With Top of the Pops

All the hard work you’ve put into lying is all for nothing if there are nitpickers hitting you with annoying things like facts. Why not instead tell your local news outlets to only use news you have written for them because you’re such a nice guy, or face an unreasonably long jail sentence for their own good. Now instead of boring news about your war crimes radio and TV airtime are now freed up to play the national anthem on repeat.

Step 3 – Close Social Media

Social Media is only used by countries that are still in the process of dismantling democracy. If you’re already a despot then there’s really no sense in keeping it around, it served its purpose. Close it down, the sooner the better.

Step 4 – Create Fear

Tell your people that society is poisoned and you are their only salvation, and that your political opponents are just high dosages of the aforementioned poison. Remember people are scared of change so remind them of that every chance you get. That way they’ll be grateful when they go to the voting booth and there’s only one option to choose from. Better the despot you know than the freely elected government you don’t I always say.

Step 5 – Be A Strong Boy

The human lizard brain hasn’t caught up to the fact that leadership no longer needs to be defined by who can swing the heaviest rock around. All you need to do is be even just a little bit unreasonably tough on anything you don’t like. Start with something everyone can agree on like crime. Then after that bar has been set, change what constitutes a crime. Maybe people comparing you to Winnie the Pooh for example. Wouldn’t hurt to maybe go to the gym as well, although not super important. This one should be fairly easy to achieve as most politicians on the world stage resemble admin and middle management.

Step 6 – Believe In Yourself

Before you go to bed every night put on your earbuds and play encouraging podcasts to yourself. When you’re brushing your teeth look in the mirror and tell yourself “Who’s the best despot, I am. I am a strong independent facist state.”

Step 7 – Myth Making

Did you know Kim Jong Il was born in the shadow of a sacred mountain under a double rainbow (what does it mean??) and his birth was foretold by a swallow? He said it so it must be true! This is where you can really get creative with your backstory. The more saintlike you come across the better. Following a dude is one thing, but if you can get away with convincing your people that you’ve been blessed by Qanon and God you can do pretty much anything at that point!