It seems we all self-sabotage, but depending on the scale that each of us is doing this, as to how much it is impacting our success.
There are literally hundreds of ways you could be self-sabotage, but most of them are caused by similar reasons. So, let us look at the five big reasons why we end up self-sabotaging and what we could do to eliminate them and change our lives.
Unclear of what you want?
Obviously, there are many ways of looking at the different areas of your life and we often find people with significant success in their business are still very unhappy with their life. Foundationally this dissatisfaction is caused by being out of balance, or not realising the interconnectivity between the different parts of their life and their happiness. You need to decide what you want in each part of your life and balance how they all fit together for true success.
To help you understand this, I suggest you compartmentalise your life under eight headings: Career & Business; Health & Fitness; Friends & Family; Finances & Wealth; Personal & Spiritual; Fun; Entertainment & Recreation; Physical Environment; Love Life. When you list and regularly adjust what you want in each area, you will be rebalancing your current priorities. Accept this is a dynamic process and you will be continually adjusting and prioritising this in the pursuit of what you want.
Lack of belief
When you lack belief, you don’t fully commit, which means you are always playing with less than 100% of your effort. This steals your time without delivering anything like your desired results. Furthermore, this compounding reality as an inferior result further undermines your self-belief. There is a further risk of this being cemented in your mind, as “I’m not quite good enough”.
Not being prepared to own your own life
A commitment to own your reality, regardless of whether it is good, bad or ugly, really does require strength of character. When you are tough enough to say, “I haven’t got it quite right at the moment.” You can put your focus into getting better rather than defending what you are currently doing and blaming everything around you. Being prepared to own an inferior result coupled with setting goals is immensely powerful and a huge part of being successful.
Procrastination is a significant success stealer
There can be many reasons for procrastination, but it is often caused by a lack of confidence, courage, focus, purpose and motivation. It can be a deep-rooted connection with where you are now and a reluctance to move on from the familiarity and comfort of your current circumstance.
The reason you are stuck can be complex to unravel as it may manifest as a lack of ambition which in itself be caused by something as simple as poor nutrition and a poor diet. Regardless of why you are procrastinating, you can overcome it by setting a goal that would really excite you and measure your focus just one day at a time. Support this effort by keeping a journal of your daily performance, focusing on the things you achieved and plotting a score out of 10 as to whether you procrastinated.
Many people find it difficult to hold themselves accountable and as a consequence, continually under achieve because they don’t. Many people get an amazing change in results and life just by taking on a coach to help hold them accountable. This is of course only one of many benefits that having a coach provides.
I have three coaches for different parts of my life and it does help me achieve great results simultaneously. This has meant I haven’t been able to prioritise my business over my financial results or my business over my health and fitness. Another way to be more accountable is give a friend a $50 note which he or she gets to keep if you don’t follow through and do what you say you will do when you report in each month.
Mark Collins is a specialist food service and hospitality business adviser. Check him out here.